Always With You Read online

  We do.

  “Yeah. His parents probably need one to catch up,” he explains so casually, yet it sets off a warning bell in me.

  “Pass,” I dismiss his idea.

  “Oh, don’t worry, Jess, we will keep conversation purely about co-parenting this little prince,” he says, stroking Sam’s cheek.

  “Stop mocking me with this co-parenting stuff, it’s the way it’s going to go.”

  I realize that we are bickering in front of our group of friends who seem to be watching like it’s entertainment. Pretty sure that Abby whispered to Harper that this was like old times.

  “Negotiable,” he states.

  I don’t know what to say, as really, I could scream.

  “Fuck me,” I curse to what I thought was myself in frustration but realize everyone heard. Because Leo decides that it is the perfect time to say something.

  “Oh, I did, and now we have a son,” he says it with such a cocky grin and confidence.

  My jaw drops and my fists clench while I try to extinguish the fuse he lit. I can see everyone is hiding a smirk as they try and hide it by drinking from their cups. Abby and Max look away as they’re laughing too hard. I am confident Harper whispers that seeing this is priceless with a grin wide on her face.

  Before I can answer, Nate arrives and interrupts, completely oblivious to the scene unfolding. He is a former professional hockey player, now owner of Matchbox, and normally a neutral member at our group gatherings.

  “Hey, peeps, where is my birthday nephew?” Nate calls out, then notices Leo and me. “Oh hey, congrats you two. Happy that cat is out of the bag finally,” Nate grins.

  “You knew?” Lucas asks, surprised, and quite frankly so am I.

  Nate lets a laugh out. “I mean, I saw them get cozy one night at Matchbox and nine months later, boom,” his hands make an explosion, “Jess pops a kid out. But I run my bar like a Catholic confessional. What happens in Matchbox stays in Matchbox.”

  Leo just grins as he puts his sunglasses on and seems satisfied with the awkwardness of this situation.

  I huff off to the car in frustration.

  An hour later, I am emerging from a very hot shower, relieved that I can finally find my bed after today. But as I’m wrapping a towel around my body, I hear Sam crying. Realizing he probably just lost his pacifier in his crib, I quickly run out of my bathroom and through my room to the hall. My hair is dripping and I’m holding the towel in the front loosely around my body and it hangs low on my back.

  Arriving at Sam’s doorway, I see Leo standing by the crib. I almost forgot he lives here now.

  I motion with one hand to the pacifier that fell to the floor and he quickly grabs it and gets Sam back to sleep. A minute later, we walk back into the hallway and Leo closes the door behind us.

  I turn to him. “I forgot to mention he needs the pacifier to sleep,” I explain in a hushed tone. His eyes are just roaming me like a trophy. Adjusting my towel, I back up and let the wall support me in this brutal undressing from his eyes.

  He only steps closer. “Enjoy your shower?” He has a cocky grin.

  Stay in control.

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “Are you sure I can’t help you with anything?”

  “Is this how living together is going to go every time we run into each other? Because if it is, then let’s just get it over with.” I realize that came out very wrong.

  “You’re eager,” Leo brings his arms to the wall to lean into and locking me in from escape. “But I meant did you need help with anything Sam related… of course.”

  It almost comes out believable except for the fact his fingers are reaching for the ends of my dangling wet hair. His touch sends a pulse to my center and my nipples tingle. Most certainly he can feel my tremble too.

  There is a moment as our eyes look deep into each other’s.

  “You’re here to help. You made that clear,” I state with our eyes holding.

  That smug look returns on him as he steps a smidgen closer to me. Taking my air.

  “Yeah. Clear. Mmm. Not quite,” his low voice continues. “By all means, tell me about the yet part of us sleeping together again.”

  My eyes bug out in shock and my face tenses. I should feel uncomfortable, but that look on his face just turns me on.

  Damn it.

  He did hear me at the BBQ. My eyes close briefly and then open. Normally, Leo and I are on equal playing fields when it comes to who is in control of our tit for tat. But he totally has the upper hand right now.

  I mean, damn it; my nipples are turning to little buds of excitement.

  Taking a deep breath, I decide to try my hardest. Grabbing his hand, I push it off me and squirm out of his hold to create space. He leans against the wall, crossing his arms at his chest to watch me rant.

  He looks so easy to jump on and wrap my legs around him.

  “Leo, I am only going to say this once. Whatever idea you have in your head or I have in my head is a bad idea. We had a night and got out our tension or whatever we want to call it. But us playing around with that again for fun is not good for Sam. We get no in-between. It’s all or nothing if we go down that road. And since we need a solid co-parenting relationship, then we don’t take the risk, and that means no messing around. So not going to happen.”

  I hold onto my wrapped towel for dear life as he leans against the wall with his eyes roaming me.

  “Who said anything about it needing to be only fun?” There is a determined look on his face.

  He steps closer to me as his hand finds a firm hold on my oblique. “The thing is, Jess. Before, you would constantly accuse me of having a small dick and claim you wanted to avoid me. But you can no longer do that.” He smiles, satisfied. “You now know that my dick isn’t small, and you know that you love it when I make you come. So, your ability to keep holding up this pretense that we won’t work needs to be pretty solid as you are stuck with me for every birthday of our son, every baseball game, first day of school, his first date, and so on. Even better, you are stuck with me for the next few months living under the same roof as you. We won’t last as just co-parents.”

  I bite my inner cheek in irritation and the fire between my legs is hard to ignore.

  His fingers come up to draw a line on my jaw until he tips my chin up to his sight. “Just say the word and I’ll make you feel good just the way I know you like it.”

  Am I still standing?

  Damn him. Because that is an option that I’m trying to not let my mind think is on the menu.

  “Leo,” I let out, frustrated, and grab some of my hair as I step away from his magical finger. “I am not in the mood for our games again. You can’t just waltz in here like 18 months hasn’t passed. I am going to assume your wiseass comment just now is from the shock that is still wearing off. It does crazy things to people. Like put ideas in your head that you and I would be a good idea,” I rage through a loud whisper as I am aware we are in the hallway and Sam is sleeping.

  He interrupts, “Yeah, because that is so crazy, the idea of Sam’s parents being together,” he says hypothetically with a hint of inquisition. His arms fall to the side and he is too calm.

  “Leo,” I grumble his name.

  He backs away. “Fine. But Jess, I’m not done talking about this.”

  It comes off more enticing than I want it to as he heads off to his room. I groan to myself as I head into a sleepless night.

  Chapter Ten

  Leo

  Jess gets points for giving me a run for my money. That cold shower this morning was needed. My curiosity for her didn’t help my long day at work either. Thoughts in my mind kept venturing to how I am going to take her next time and make her moan—no, scream—my name. I also had innocent thoughts about how to guide her into the direction of us trying to be together.

  Meetings ran late and I missed bath time with Sam. I head in from the garage through the kitchen to find Jess sitting at the counter folding Sam’s laundry and l
istening to some music. Those little baby socks she folds soften me to the core. But not as cute as the sweater with dinosaur fins on the back. That is just freaking adorable.

  Jess seems relaxed in leggings and an off-the-shoulder top. Softly singing along to the music playing on the Bluetooth. I come to stand on the other side of the kitchen island, throwing my tie to the chair and unbuttoning my top button.

  “Having fun?” I ask and look at her.

  She looks slightly embarrassed that I caught her singing and dancing her shoulders.

  “Yeah, actually. A phenomenal day at the office, and Sam is out like a light. You?” She focuses on folding and avoids looking at me.

  “Not the greatest of meetings, but it will be okay. Sorry I missed bedtime routine.” But I don’t feel too guilty. We already talked about my schedule.

  She confirms. “Don’t worry. We talked about it.”

  “Why was it a phenomenal day?”

  Jess continues to focus on folding. “We got a listing for this absolutely amazing house. A dream house to many. Pool, privacy, a forest behind the house. I’m excited, but Max is the one doing the selling on that one.”

  “Right.”

  Jess seems by far more at ease than yesterday. For me, my head can’t function anymore from meeting after meeting. But for her, I have energy for anything—in all contexts.

  “Hey, since you seem to be tolerating me more than normal today. Do you maybe want some wine? I need a glass after this day.” I need something to relax and I’m guessing a horse tranquilizer isn’t on offer.

  “Wanting wine? That is not even a question for me.” She grins when she looks up at last.

  I go and grab a bottle of white in the fridge and two glasses from the cupboard plus snacks. Sitting next to her on the spare stool, I help her move the laundry basket to the side.

  “I tried to find a solid dry white to complement the animal crackers and cheese strings,” I offer her the plate of snacks fit for a toddler.

  “Hey, animal crackers, goldfish crackers, and any type of cracker are survival foods. Welcome to parenthood,” she teases.

  I smile at her as I get to work on the bottle of wine.

  She is back into her music zone as I pour her a glass and one for me.

  “O.A.R.?” I ask as I recognize the music. She looks at me in amazement.

  “Yeah. They’re one of my favorite bands, well, their earlier stuff anyhow.” She takes a sip of her wine.

  “Good choice.”

  “Yeah, I guess that is your genre since we know your music tastes.” And I’m surprised she remembers what I told her in the bar the night we slept together.

  “You remember?” I lean back in my stool. She nods yes. “Anything else from that night you care to remember?” I tease her.

  She lets out a laugh and nearly chokes on her wine then faces her body to me.

  I let her soak in a moment of staring at me.

  “Leo.”

  Oh no. I don’t like that tone.

  “Yes, Jessica,” I respond with the same tone and her full name to let her know I’m levelling with her.

  “We’ve managed to keep our focus on Sam since you graced us all with your presence again.” She taps at her glass. “But what happened to make you drop off the face of the earth?” she asks innocently with her eyes now focusing on me.

  I have no energy to get into this, but she will know eventually as it is just another puzzle piece to the last 18 months for both of us. Might as well bite the bullet to it as I have alcohol in my hand. I don’t look at her.

  “Before my mom died, she left all her shares to me and not my father. I found out and wondered why. It makes me more of an owner of the company than my father. I didn’t understand. Until I learned the reason. Before she died, she found out he had an affair many years ago,” I admit for the first time to anyone. I consider telling her the other part but decide not yet.

  She touches my arm. “Oh, that’s awful. I guess you needed to clear your head.” Her eyes meet mine. “I met your mom only a few times. I could see why you and she were so close.” Jess lets her fingers glide along my upper arm. More a move to comfort me than anything else.

  In truth, she is the only one I wanted to comfort me when my mother died. Jess doesn’t know it, but I remember a party a few weeks after it happened. I was standing outside on a winter night.

  * * *

  “Hey,” Jess’s soft voice says as she comes and stands next to me, looking out to the forest.

  “Hey,” I say blankly.

  There is a beautiful silence.

  “I’m sorry to hear about your mother. But I guess you’ve heard that line from everyone already so don’t need to hear it again, especially from me.” She nudges me slightly in the shoulder with hers and I look at her. Jess is sincere, beautiful, and genuinely wanting to support me.

  “What can I say? Cancer is a bitch.” I drink from my bottle of beer.

  She says nothing but eyes me. As if she knows I don’t need to hear words. Standing there. Somehow knowing her presence is enough. After a minute or two our eyes meet. Still saying nothing as our eyes seem to say plenty.

  In truth, I need comfort and her eyes give me that. The pull we have with each other is soothing and I am aching for it. I step closer and I see her breath in the air. She isn’t stepping back, maybe even steps closer. My hand reaches out to her face and my fingertips briefly touch the skin on her cheek, but before my whole hand can feel her, we’re interrupted by the giggle of a woman popping her head out and laughing my name.

  Shit. I forgot that I showed up here with Amber, or is it Lauren? I don’t really know or care. Because who I need for relief is now standing in front of me.

  Jess breaks the moment and swallows as she looks at the door to inside then back to me.

  “Well, I hope you are finding comfort in whatever way works for you.” Jess is soft with her words and her eyes blinking to me, and it doesn’t come across as spiteful or harsh. She truly genuinely means what she says. She purses her lips together. “Goodnight, Leo,” she says gently and walks away, briefly touching my arm to give a taste of the warmth from her that I so desperately want.

  * * *

  Jess breaks into my thoughts. “You know there’s something I never told you about your mother.” She touches my thigh gently and I look at her, completely lost of what she could possibly say. “Once I ran into her at lunch with Max, and she knew that you and I didn’t see eye to eye. But she said something so…”

  I touch her hand on my thigh and this all feels right. “What?”

  She looks at me with a soft smile. “She said it was a shame because she hoped you and I would give it a whirl.”

  I’m taken aback by her statement, but it makes me form a smile. Typical of my mother, always speaking her mind.

  “Kind of ironic that you and I did give it a whirl and now I am the mother of her grandchild. I wish… I am sure she’s watching or something,” Jess adds subtly.

  A hum escapes me as our eyes meet.

  “Didn’t think about it until now, but I guess it’s because of her house sale that you and I met up that week.” I’m finding a peaceful connection as I let my hand go through my hair.

  “I guess so. I completely get why everything with your father and your mother’s passing made you want to get away. But 18 months is a long time. Plus, being off the grid. Borderline crazy, to be honest.” She takes a sip of wine and I like that she’s keeping me in line with her honesty.

  “Are you mad at me?” I ask blankly.

  Her eyes side-line to me and her bottom lip is caught between her teeth. She then focuses her attention on her glass of wine. “I knew you were leaving; you didn’t know you would knock me up… but a year and a half.” She sounds somber then looks at me with eyes almost glistening. “Tell me you had a good reason.”

  “I didn’t intend to be gone that long, but I also didn’t have a reason that I knew of to return and I needed to figure some things o
ut.” I check that she is grasping my words. “I only knew what waited for me when I took over the company. Needed a break to breathe. I was contactable the first few months. But I went off the grid when I got into a motorcycle accident in Argentina.”

  Jess’s face turns to shock and panic. Quickly, she sets her wine glass down. “What?! You had an accident? When was this?”

  Her concerned look makes me ponder if I should maybe embellish the story a little, because her look is priceless. But even I am not that big of an ass.

  I rest my hand on her knee to reassure her. “Relax. It wasn’t a big accident. Just a few days in the hospital and a small battle scar on my arm. There was a cow on the road, and I swerved. Anyhow, going off the grid was probably around the time you told Max you were pregnant, I guess.”

  “Yeah, I guess. So, you decided to stay off the grid?” Her eyes narrow in on me.

  “I didn’t know of any reason to stay on the grid.” I look at her, making sure her eyes see how serious I am.

  “I guess I get it.” She looks at me with awareness.

  Even throughout all our squabbling over the years, there were times we had a moment where we just clicked with a silent understanding.

  “Plus, I slept with someone before I left and she made it clear it was perhaps bad judgement and not to share that information with anyone,” I add that in to lighten the mood.

  Her face gives me nothing.

  “Come on, Jess, you made it clear that I shouldn’t come to your door with flowers anytime soon after that night,” I remind her with a faint smile as she studies me.

  “Yeah, because I’m sure that’s what you were dying to do,” she retorts sarcastically.

  “You’re right. Flowers aren’t my style. But a bottle of wine and dessert are, and I knew where your door was. You just made it clear it wasn’t open.”

  “Doesn’t matter, you weren’t here to try anyways,” she admits then looks away, realizing she is admitting something she may not want me to know. And if she is insinuating I had a chance then I may just be downing the rest of the wine bottle tonight.